Life Newbie

TL;DR: Me 5 years ago : That horrifying moment when you're looking for an adult, but then you realize you ARE the adult. So you go looking for an older adult. An adultier adult. Someone better at adulting than you. Me now : Look at me adulting all over the place! Ok so I stole those quotes from some Google images, but I'm stealing from the anonymity that is internet memes for non-profit purposes. Try and sue me...you'll get nothing, because I'm in debt. Hah. I'm 33, and I can honestly say I think I've only met the qualifications of such a human in the past several months.  I've seen these grown-ups on TV in the past and I envied them. They lived on their own, had families, houses, minivans, and seemed to have this distinct sense of ownership over their lives that I severely lacked. I still don't own a house or a minivan, but for the first time ever I feel like I'm the CEO and majority stock holder over my life.  Let's go into left fie...

TL;DR: I have random thoughts and not all of them warrant an entire page of 12 font rambling. I'm having one of those days where I have too many random thoughts that I'm like "OOH, I could write about that!" but in all reality they maybe warrant a paragraph at best because I'm well aware that my mind inflates things until I'm deluded into thinking my audience of imaginary cardboard cut out people would actually value anything I have to say. With that said, I'll just skip from subject to subject. This is for me, not for you, so, shut up. BEGIN: Reasons I procrastinate. 1) ____. I am a chronic procrastinator. It took me 2 days from entering this post's title to writing ...this word: Bloop. I don't know if it's procrastination so much as it is terrible time management and discipline. I mean a certain amount of leniency should be given considering I'm around a 2 1/2 year old 24/7. Toddlers personify A.D.D. and can bring it out in varyi...

TLDR; We create whole worlds that transcend time and space in a finite universe ruled by entropy. Screw you, mortality. Why do we create? Why do we sing, dance, play instruments, write books, design games, direct movies, paint, build, sculpt, draw, take photos, record videos, etc, etc, etc? As any other creature in existence, we're hardwired to eat, survive, and reproduce. Anything beyond that tends not to serve our evolutionary programming, so why do we humans almost exclusively take it a step further? We create religions, myths, and legends and defend them with our lives. We pour our hearts into our music and stories, we spend large chunks of our lives and spend sweat and tears and sometimes even risk our lives to create things that do not promote the survival of the species. So what purpose does it serve and what drives us to do it? Is it God? I used to think so. I used to think we would not be the creative species we are if not for inspiration from a Creator.  As I've ...

TL;DR: Recognizing what's causing my existential crisis and that the existential crisis means nothing doesn't stop me from struggling with an existential crisis, hence the struggle means nothing, and that makes me sad. Rinse repeat ad nauseam. Many people have at least one point in their life where they can reference all other events relative to that one point in time. Some examples are the 9/11 attacks or having children (not that those two things have anything in common, unless you've seen the bedrooms of most two year old kids...both things exemplify the word "chaos"). Many American adults over the age of 25 or 30 can remember exactly what they were doing when 9/11 happened, or what events were going on in their life when their children came into being. I think the reason for this is because events on that scale tend to completely sideswipe our lives, for good or bad, and that sideswipe creates a mental time stamp that marks a change in some aspect of life...