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An Average Housewife's View on Gun Control (spoiler alert: it's not about guns)

     Pretend Scenario: I walk into an authorized dealer of firearms and tell the person behind the counter I would like to purchase a gun for home and personal defense. I'm 38, so I certainly pass the age requirement. The dealer contacts the FBI's NICS background department. They instantly report back that I have no criminal history on record. Next, I go to the sheriff's office and apply for the required permits, show my ID, get my fingerprints taken, and perhaps take a training class and pass a live-fire shooting qualification exam if I want the concealed carry permit. Once approved within a few weeks, I'll receive my permit(s) and can return to the dealer to complete my purchase. Huzzah, I am now the proud owner of a deadly weapon! I think I'll name it as I stroke it affectionately.



Mistakes were made. They should NOT have sold me a gun. This is not a warning to say "hey, I'm a danger to society." Quite the contrary. I have a strong aversion to confrontation and violence. Even loud arguments can trigger panic attacks with me.

So, why shouldn't I own a gun? What was overlooked in the process? 

Time for the big reveal:

I have 3 concurrent mental health diagnoses. For starters, I was diagnosed and treated for Bipolar type II for almost 15 years until a change in doctors and more thorough therapy revealed that instead, I have Major Depressive Disorder, Panic/Anxiety Disorder, and Complex PTSD from years of abuse, rape, molestation, two near death experiences, and the passing of both of my parents within a year of each other due to Covid. I have a history of self-harm and attempted suicide buried deep in my medical records. I have recurrent nightmares, flashbacks, and dissociative episodes in which my surroundings don't feel real to me, nor do my invasive thoughts feel like they belong to me. I've had 3 incidences in the past where I was provoked and physically threatened to the point of blacking out and (thankfully mild) violence. I'm on 4 different medications to combat the above symptoms plus insomnia, two of which are controlled substances.

The only time a mental illness triggers a red flag in the national database is if a judge has deemed a person mentally incompetent or if they have been involuntarily committed to a mental hospital, and whether or not that gets overlooked is up to individual states and counties at their own discretion. I have never been before a judge and I've never been committed, involuntarily or otherwise. I'd slip in right under the radar. 

All it takes is one or two skipped doses of my antidepressants, and I'm so depressed and withdrawn I can barely get out of bed. Too many nights waking up in a cold sweat from yet another nightmare, and I find myself wishing I could poof out of existence for a while because the mental torment and physical pain caused by the anxiety is too much to handle. Too much stress or anxiety and I disassociate, imagining scenarios of self-harm while I'm cooking with knives in the kitchen. I walk a fine line with my mental health, and I make it a priority to make my appointments and take my meds on time, do yoga, meditate, monitor my moods and triggers, and whatever else it takes because I need to function and raise my daughter the way she deserves to be raised, not by an emotionally absent and dysfunctional mother. Now introduce a gun into my house. Would you trust me with it? The state does. The federal government does. I wouldn't. The silver lining in this scenario is that I'm my only potential victim, but the same can't be said about many others with mental illness. 

Luckily for me, and everyone around me, I am self-aware enough to admit this to myself, and others obviously. I know my limits and my triggers. I know cause and effect. I see the bigger picture outside of myself and realize that while I'm only a small piece in the puzzle that is the interconnections in my life, broken though I may be, I'm still vital and needed.

I am not the average mental health sufferer. I'm fortunate to have the self-awareness and initiative that I do, the support system, and access to the healthcare and medications I need.  I'm an outlier in the statistics when it comes to mental illness. For every one person like me, there's probably a dozen who are undiagnosed or untreated. Media, healthcare, and politicians all agree that the nation's mental health crisis needs to be better addressed. Education, exposure, and resources need to be available to everyone. Not only that, but parents and schools also need to play an active role in their child/teen's mental health; monitor it, destigmatize it, and take action to get them help when problems arise. We need to teach teens and young adults that taking care of their mental health is just as important as physical health and not taboo. A diabetic wouldn't want to binge on sugar and skip insulin doses, they know the consequences. The mind is no different. But I digress. 

My point is, I've watched the gun control debate from the sidelines and both sides are full of hubris. Make guns illegal, and they'll be obtained anyway. All it takes is Tor browser, some bitcoin, and a PO box to have any sort of illicit things mailed right to you, anonymously. Surely people don't think making something illegal actually means it suddenly vanishes off the streets. If that actually worked, our prisons wouldn't be filled with drug felons. For those shouting "2nd amendment, bear arms, cuz 'Murica!" well, if that gun makes you think you're safer (or your dangly parts bigger) good on ya, mate, but statistics don't lie

While the gun control war wages on into yet another decade, the real problem is getting ignored. The people. Don't look at the weapon in their hand. Look at the shooter, look at their environment, their upbringing. Who are they as a person? What was their mindset? Where did we as a parent, a teacher, a doctor, a friend, a society fail them and fail to intercept a potential threat long before a gun got into their hands? Wow, that's too much legwork, isn't it? Let's just mask the symptom and leave the disease untreated. Remove guns from the picture and you'll still have unhinged people falling through the cracks of a failing system. We have half of society demanding laws that make us feel safer as the other half throws tantrums and clings to their "God given" rights like a toddler's comfort object. Meanwhile, both sides are turning a blind eye and raising yet another generation babysat by a screen, who are inundated with social and political turmoil and failure on every level. In a decade's time, any one of them could be the very threat that we demand the government keep us safe from, and we have no one to blame but ourselves. 

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